The End of Osama bin Laden

            Almost ten years after he perpetuated the worst attack on U.S. soil, Osama bin Laden is dead. A victim of his own creation, bin Laden was killed during a firefight at his million dollar compound near a Pakistani military school. Perhaps we would have more closure if he were to be brought to the United States and tried at the site where the Towers fell before a panel of the 9/11 families, but it’s hard to say bin Laden didn’t get what was coming to him. He deserved nothing better than to be made an example of: that nothing in this world goes unpunished and evil men always get what they deserve.

            Today I’ve heard people congratulating both presidents Obama and Bush on bringing justice to the world, but this statement is ludicrous and tragically flawed: Bush doesn't deserve half the credit he's getting. Bush let bin Laden slip away in December, 2001 at Tora Bora, and even went so far as to say “I truly am not that concerned about him [bin Laden]” in March of 2002. For years, Bush led us all on a wild goose chase trying to catch a man who simply faded into shadow and dust every time he caught whiff of the U.S. poking around in his area of the world. The compound (Abbottabad) that bin Laden was found at was built in 2005; why we spent this long digging around uselessly in the desert and didn’t bother to check there first will always be beyond me. All the credit belongs to President Obama. In less than one term, he delivered on his promise to find bin Laden and send him to hell.

            The dark days that have been looming over the United States for almost a decade have now started to dissipate. Al Qaeda will not disappear overnight, but for now we can all breathe easier. The manhunt for the most wanted man in the world has ended, and al Qaeda looks a little bit weaker in the sunlight now. The Towers are still gone, and the bloody rubble remains as fresh in our minds as ever. But the air feels just a little bit fresher today, and the nighttime not so scary anymore. Good riddance to that asshole. Our occupation in the Middle East seems just as complicated as ever, but maybe now the War on Terror doesn’t seem so insurmountable. After all, we just won the battle that most didn’t think we ever could. 

Where Do The Celtics Go From Here?

            Danny Ainge made a huge gamble this season, and will most likely be judged by history on this decision alone. Anything short of Banner 18 will be total failure on his part, no matter how close they come. The President of Basketball Operations for the Boston Celtics traded away a franchise favorite in Kendrick Perkins, a move that most in the league didn’t, or still don’t, understand completely. The trade brought Jeff Green, the 2007 fifth overall draft pick by Boston, back to the Garden in hopes of providing a strong backup for Paul Pierce and Ray Allen (their go to guy for those positions was Marquis Daniels, so obviously they were in need of help). But without their star center in the paint, and with the aging O’Neal’s running on fumes, the main question on everyone’s mind is: Where do the Celtics go from here?

            The Big Three is getting older. Everyone keeps wondering if they have enough left in the tank to make one more meaningful run for the championship. The key for the Celtics is to build around their MVP caliber point guard, Rajon Rondo. Pierce, Allen and Kevin Garnett won’t be there forever, but the future seems less certain with Kendrick Perkins gone. The first step in rebuilding for when the Era of the Big Three has run its course is resigning Jeff Green. The trade will be pointless if they can’t get the explosive young forward to resign. He’ll be the obvious replacement once Paul Pierce retires.

            It’s doubtful that the Big Three will retire after this season, but the not so distant future is murky. Garnett’s not the same player he was even three years ago, and his knees are fairly quick to betray him. Ray Allen is 35, and will most likely want to retire near the top of his game. Pierce could linger for a while longer, but he isn’t getting any younger. He wants to be in the conversation with Larry Bird and Bill Russell – the greatest Celtics. So since the window of the Big Three is undeniably closing, the Celtics need to start grooming young players who can take over in a few years. That will start in 2012. Until then, resign as many as they can.

            First to resign will be Glen Davis, the heir apparent to Kevin Garnett. He still has time to mature before he can be a great starter, but his abilities are undeniable. He’s a favorite in Boston, and seems happy to stay. As mentioned, they have to resign Green. I would argue they also have to resign Nenad Kristic and Troy Murphy, if only because Boston can always use big men. Von Wafer has proved his worth, but could easily be let go. Delonte West might not be out of the question to resign, depending on how the remainder of his postseason goes. Pavlovic and Arroyo seem unnecessary and should be cut.

The free agent market for 2011 is already watered down. Carmelo Anthony has been traded to New York, Zack Randolph has resigned with Grizzlies, Greg Oden is a gamble, Shane Battier and Kenyon Martin are passing their prime and the rest are role players. There aren’t any key names that the Celtics would have to have to be contenders for years to come. If they could lure Aaron Afflalo or J.R. Smith away from the Nuggets, or convince Jamal Crawford that the bench in Boston is much nicer than the bench in Atlanta this time of year, then that would definitely help transition from the Ray Allen days, but I don’t necessarily see any of those moves happening.

            The big year will be 2012, when some major players will hit the free market. First and foremost, the Celtics have to get Dwight Howard to sign with them. If they can do this, everyone in the Garden will forget about that trade that sent some other center to Oklahoma City. Howard seems like a natural fit in Boston, and could easily average 25 points a game or more on Rondo’s assists. Another player available in 2012 who could be pivotal to Celtics’ future success is O.J. Mayo, the young guard from Memphis. He’s had his problems maturing and finding his role with the Grizzlies. By 2012 Ray Allen will be 37 going on 38, and may just consider hanging up the towel. Mayo could fit well into the hypothetical lineup of Rondo, Howard, Davis and Green.

            The future of the Boston Celtics remains uncertain. And Danny Ainge’s trade might haunt him forever, depending on how far the Celtics progress this postseason. They’ve already eliminated the new look Knicks. And they’ll most likely be facing off against the other Big Three of LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh next round. If they get past that, a meeting against the Bulls seems inevitable (unless Atlanta or Orlando have some huge upset). But the Celtics were built for winning now, not later. This wasn’t supposed to be a rebuilding year for Boston, but Ainge has put them in an undesirable position where they have to begin looking at life after the starting five that never lost a playoff series.

Republican Hopes for 2012

            With the first presidential primary less than a year away, the American people are still left in the dark wondering “Who’s going to run for president?” There’s an ocean of Republican contenders in the waiting, ranging from serious threats to laughable hoodwinks. But regardless of the likelihood of each candidate’s upset possibilities, one thing is clear so far: everyone is scared to make a run at the White House.

            A handful of candidates (such as Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota, former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, and former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty) have all formed “exploratory committees” to help them decide whether or not to run for President. Others, such as former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney, Mississippi governor Haley Barbour and former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee, have simply gone through the motions without ever mentioning what they’re going to do or if they’ve decide to run.

            Even worse is the continuous threat of the failed Alaskan governor turned Fox News pundit Sarah Palin. She’s not a threat for the White House (President Obama would probably love nothing more than to take on Palin on Election Day). Her threat is to the Republican Party she supposedly represents. Palin has the uncanny ability to polarize like no other “politician” could possibly dream of. If she managed to win the nomination, she would divide the Republicans to the point where everyone short of the Tea Party would vote for Obama (or Nader, if he’s running).

            Similarly, Bachmann does not represent the Republicans in a significant way. Like Palin, she’s a divisive character who would scare off more voters than she could attract. What separates her from Palin is that Bachmann believes she is supposed to serve as public official, while Palin believes she deserves to be a public figure. Bachmann wants to influence legislature, while Palin just wants a paycheck. Don’t let that fool anyone; neither of them deserves the nomination.

            Other contenders are long removed from actual politics. Note that Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee and Tim Pawlenty are all former governors of their states. Romney and Huckabee haven’t served since 2007, Pawlenty’s term ended in 2010. Similarly, Newt Gingrich hasn’t served in the House or Representatives since 1999, when he ran an unsuccessful campaign to remove Clinton from office. A question that many Americans aren’t asking is “How can these politicians, so removed from active politics, possibly run the country?” The answer is murky at best, and none of these possible candidates have tried to answer that question.

            Another thorn in the side of the Republicans’ hope for 2012 is recently Roasted Donald Trump. He’s the only “candidate” who still expresses skepticism on Obama’s birth and religion status. He’s also the only candidate who has no political background whatsoever, to have appeared on a Comedy Central program not hosted by Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert, to bankrupt his own company and to have hosted WrestleMania. Trump lacks everything that a major politician needs to even hope to take up a new D.C. residence in January, 2013. And for the Republicans, he is not just a laughingstock; he’s a ticking time bomb who will take away whatever dignity they might hope to hold onto during the primaries.

            With no real battle cry other than “Anybody but Obama,” the Republicans have yet to field a real candidate with any chance of possibly upsetting an incumbent. The most likely front runner, Romney, has eerily similar ideas about health care (Romney instituted a more far reaching healthcare plan for Massachusetts than Obama could pass for the nation). Other main candidates express simpleton messages that Obama is an evil socialist who will personally kill your grandmother and tax you all the way to Kingdom Come. So what hopes do the Republicans have for 2012?

            They’re best hope will be to present a candidate who doesn’t focus on the character assassination of Obama, but rather on actual issues that are important (unemployment, the economy, our occupation in Libya, Iraq and Afghanistan). The ideal candidate will have a (comparably) clean track record, a strong constituency across the nation and be idolized for positive reasons (actions, not words).

This leaves only Pawlenty and Romney as actual contenders to make Obama a one term president, with Barbour and Huckabee battling for a distant third. Romney’s got statistics on his side (GOP runners-up usually get the nomination in the next election). Romney also leads many national straw polls now to become the candidate. But Pawlenty can say Romney’s too much of a moderate by citing the Massachusetts healthcare system. Barbour or Huckabee could make a possible run in the unlikely event that Romney and Pawlenty cancel each other out. Plus, Huckabee has a recent history of winning early.

The Republican National Convention will take place over the week of August 27, 2012. There will be hard fought campaigning between now and then among the Republicans. Who exactly will emerge to challenge Obama remains unclear, but the GOP needs to develop a clear message. The goal can’t just be to make Obama a one term president, but to foster the candidate they believe will represent the United States the best. Also, the candidates need to get serious. They need to stop creating “exploratory committees” and putting the issue off. Until then, the Republicans don’t stand a chance.

Spring Cleaning Up in Augusta

Gov. Paul LePage, the gorged laughingstock up in Augusta, has recently taken a bizarre step in his political career. Instead of concentrating on jobs or the state budget, LePage has begun to channel his inner Martha Stewart by delving into interior decorating. He has moved for the immediate removal of a mural in the Department of Labor building. To him, that mural simply threw off the feng shui and had to go.

            A spokeswoman for LePage said that the governor ordered the mural be removed after various business officials voiced criticisms of the mural. The spokeswoman also added that LePage received an anonymous fax saying the mural was like “communist North Korea where they use these murals to brainwash the masses.” That same spokeswoman also mentioned that LePage wants a “décor that represents neutrality.”

            The mural was created in 2007 by Judy Taylor, the winner of a Maine Art Commission competition. It has 11 panels depicting scenes of Maine workers, ranging from lumberjacks, mill strikes, shoemakers and shipyards. LePage claims that the scenes depicted are “one-sided” in favoring unions.

            This is only one of LePage’s spring-cleaning binges. He also wants to rename seven conference rooms in the Department of Labor building. One is named after farm workers’ rights champion César Chávez, another after Rose Schniederman, once leader of the New York Women’s Trade Union League, and another after Frances Perkins, the nation’s first female labor secretary.

            Among the most recent of LePage’s accomplishments are raising the Maine state retirement age for public employees, making Medicaid more expensive and inaccessible to low income families and cutting food stamp benefits.

            LePage has been very successful in his spring cleaning, washing away those pesky benefits and rights that accumulate on the porch over a long winter, and getting rid of that cumbersome mural that was taking up space in the basement where he could easily fit a treadmill or a speed bike. So good for him. Swimsuit season is coming, and he has a few pounds to shed in these dwindling dreary days before he can put on that Speedo and head down to Old Orchard Beach for a much needed vacation.

Shit Paul LePage Says

This will be an ongoing thread. It all depends on how fast LePage can shovel this manure around in the marketplace of ideas.

"If you buy a newspaper in Maine, it's like paying someone to lie to you," (spoken at a rally explaining why the Democrats caused him to reduce state teacher benefits).

"I feel really bad that teachers have to wait until 65 to retire. I have to wait until I'm 67 and a half."

"The State of Maine is the only state in the United States of America that charges sales tax on bull semen. You hear that? Bull semen. The only place in the United States of America - this state."

"Quite frankly, it's a learning tool for kids," (on the subject of creationism).

"I do not make ridiculous commercials or get under people's skin."

When asked by WCSH-TV what he would do if protesters chained themselves to the mural in Augusta that he is removing:
"I'd laugh at them, the idiots. That's what I'd do. Come on! Get over yourselves!"

The Case for LeBron James

Not too long ago, LeBron James broke the hearts of everyone within a 1000 mile radius of Cleveland and basically told the rest of the sports world that the smell of rings was more important than being a beloved hometown hero. He ditched a team of has beens and never weres for a group of super friends (with even more has beens and never weres) in a warmer climate with no income tax. At the surface, James is nothing more than an egotistical maniac who thinks hardware is more important than a legacy. But if you dig deeper than that, if you crawl through the fields of bullshit that is LeBronomania, you’ll find the true nature of James: that regardless of what he does when the ball’s not in his hands, he is one of the greatest players to ever play the game. And as much as it hurts to say this, he deserves to be MVP for the third year in a row.

            When he wore the number 23 Cavaliers’ jersey, James was adored by fans all over the world. He was cursed to be the prophet-kid from Akron, and he was overly ambitious about promising the city of Cleveland a ring. But regardless, he made a cast of nobodies and barely somebodies into a team that had the league-best record for years, and was always the powerhouse of the East. He gave that city seven great seasons and came close to winning that elusive prize for the trophy starved city. But when the time came to rebuild, he hung up his rock and roll shoes and flew the coup, headed south and bailed for warmer waters. In one televised hour he went from prophet to pariah, from savior to scumbag.

            He cut all ties from Cleveland. His number changed and so did his attitude. But the key factor in determining whether or not James deserves to be MVP is how his talents (regardless of where they he took them) were put to use. And to just watch him and the Miami Heat get rolling is nothing short of a work of nature. He plays with a skill level unparalleled in the NBA, a 6-foot-8 mass of sheer God-given talent that even the greats have to wonder if he’s part Olympian. Many questioned his level competitiveness when he left for Miami, but to see him play we can see he still has something left.

            The thing to look at in figuring the MVP is to look at how two franchises were completely reshaped in the wake of Decision 2010. Cleveland went from the league leader to the bottom rung of the ladder. The Cavs set a record for most losses in a row, and became not only the worst team in the league, but also arguably the worst team in NBA history. The Heat, meanwhile, were prophesized to break the Bulls’ record of 72 wins in one season and to take home as many as seven rings. While the Heat came up short on those promises, they’re feared and hated by all, and have the weapons at their disposal to make mincemeat out of just about anybody in the league.

            You heard about the sacrifice made by the Three Kings of South Beach in their pursuit of the rings, but the only real sacrifice came from LeBron. Chris Bosh was never going anywhere and was overhyped in free agency. People like Kevin Garnett, Dwight Howard and Amar’e Stoudemire make Bosh look like a flustered cocker spaniel in a Michael Vick dog fight. He gets pushed around by the tough guys, and he just rolls over and takes it. But he was the go to man in Toronto, and came to Miami thinking he could ride the coattails of the Other Two all the way to the finals. The only things Bosh gave up were a paycheck and the false rumor that he would be the third of a Big Three.

            Dwyane Wade didn’t give up a thing. He got to stay home and keep his team.

            So the only real loser in 2010 was LeBron. He gave up being loved and respected. He gave up a home. He gave up a reputation. All for the hope that maybe the new guys could help him where others had failed. LeBron gave up everything in an all-or-bust strategy.

            James will never be forgiven for what he did, but at the same time he should not be penalized for it forever. He still deserves to be MVP even if he ruined the hopes of a fading city. He takes teams that otherwise wouldn’t go anywhere and brings them farther than they could dream. The last time Wade made it to the Finals was with the help of Shaq, and Bosh probably never even dreamed about making it to the Conference Semi-Finals. LeBron has always been on the cursed team that coulda-shoulda-woulda won the Finals, if they had had a few more pieces to the LeBron James puzzle. Maybe eventually the Heat will be able to figure out how Wade and Bosh fit into that puzzle. Until then, LeBron is on his own and the Heat will falter and fail. Like every team James is on. That’s the cross he bears. He’s debatably one of the top three players ever to play professional basketball. But he also is doomed to fall short of the mark every time.

            That alone should get him MVP.

The Crying Shame of Kansas

            A few days ago, the Supreme Court ruled that the actions taken by the Westboro Baptist Church should and would be protected by the First Amendment. The ruling was an 8-1 decision, with the lone dissenter being Justice Alito.

            "Speech is powerful. It can stir people to action, move them to tears of both joy and sorrow, and -- as it did here -- inflict great pain. On the facts before us, we cannot react to that pain by punishing the speaker," Chief Justice John Roberts wrote for the majority.

            The problem with this ruling is that the actions taken by the Phelps family (basically the only members of the WBC), while it’s technically speech, do not add to the marketplace of ideas. Instead, Fred Phelps and the rest of his degenerate, backwoods clan are simply camera hungry, narcissistic bigots. They will do anything to get on camera and get the attention of the American media. And not only are they winning, but thanks to the Supreme Court, they now have free reign to continue their backwards and vile “rights.”

            The case was brought by a man named Albert Snyder, the father of Matthew Snyder who gave his life for his country. Phelps and his offspring picketed outside the funeral with signs like “God Hates Fags,” “God Hates Israel” and “Thank God for 9/11.” Snyder claimed that Phelps had created extreme emotional distress. Initially, the courts ruled with Snyder, awarding him monetary reparations. But, as we’ve seen, the First Amendment must be protected at all costs, even for thugs like Fred Phelps.

            Should the group that believes Obama has formed an unholy union with Satan, that Catholic priests are pedophile vampires, that India is a country of “fags and fag enablers,” that “Jews are the real Nazis,” and that “Mohammed was a demon-possessed whoremonger and pedophile who contrived a 300-page work of Satanic fiction” get First Amendment protection? Regardless of what most of us think, they will have it as of March 2, 2011.

            The problem I have with the WBC is that their messages are painfully unclear. If they had even the faintest trace of a message, I could understand the Supreme Court not wanting to censor them (see Brandenburg v. Ohio and Beauharnais v. Illinois). But the Phelps family has no message other than “We’ll say whatever it takes to get on TV.” And that should not be allowed to continue.

            What’s worse is they’ve done their homework. They know how far away they’re supposed to stand from the funerals. Fred Phelps sent a few of his kids through law school so he could stop paying lawyers and keep it in the family. So it should be unbearably clear that the speech isn’t what matters to them; if it was, they wouldn’t be so studious of the laws. Instead, the attention is the most important thing to the WBC. They know what they can do to get attention and not get arrested.

            The clearest test to see whether or not the WBC floats is this: what do they propose as a solution? Yes, they say “God Hates Fags,” and rejoice that the foot soldiers of a homosexual sympathizing country are dying in distant lands. But what do they believe to be the answer to this problem? Do they expect the government to round up everyone who has ever had a homosexual experience and put them in internment camps?

            But here’s the kicker. If they were this outraged by American tolerance of homosexuality, why don’t they leave? Why not pack up and head out? I’m pretty sure there are places in the world that hold similar “views” as this church. If they were true to their word, the WBC would probably enjoy Uganda.

            But the truth is that the WBC has no true message, outside of being adjacent to attention starved hound dogs looking for scrapes from the dinner table. Whether or not they actually believe the Grade A horseshit that they perpetuate is irrelevant. All that Fred Phelps and company really want is more time on the television.

            The WBC is nothing shy of a backwoods hate group that dislikes anyone who is different than the immediate majority. Their leader, Fred Phelps, is a lunatic. He is a senile old man who rejected any sense of decency when he was removed from the Kansas Bar in 1977. But more importantly, he is a delusional old fiend who delights in tearing away the last shreds of human decency just so he can be on TV. Even more simplified, Fred Phelps is a monster.

            There is no logical reason why Phelps and the WBC should be allowed to protest funerals, regardless if they are military funerals or not, saying that God killed the departed to get back at America for not taking care of the gay problem. There is no defendable rationale that should allow these trolls to make the worst day of someone’s life even more miserable. If nothing else, the right to privacy should protect these families from the hate and evil that brews in the minds and spews out of the mouths of these assholes.

            Fred Phelps and his lowly, moral-less, propaganda spreading and fear-mongering thugs don’t belong in this country. We are a nation based on progressiveness, understanding, and a desire to move past differences. The Phelps family represents everything we know to be wrong, but lack the fortitude or integrity to stop. The Supreme Court obviously didn’t have the balls to tell these hillbillies to fuck off, but we need to. We need to let these monsters know that we know what they’re up to, and that it won’t work. But most importantly, the media needs to tell these assholes to crawl back under the rock they came from, and think long and hard before slithering back out into the light of day.

            They are not Christians wronged by a vile world that refuses to understand. They are a group of degenerate, attention starved lackeys for a wicked, hateful old man who believes he needs to be famous and relevant. And what’s worse, is that we’re obliging him.