The Perry Plan: A Bad Attempt at Hiding Tax Breaks for the Rich

            Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry has finally come forward with his own version of a tax plan: an optional 20% flat tax. Under President Perry, Americans would have the option of choosing this flat tax over their current tax rate. Perry claims that his proposal will not only put Americans back to work, but will balance the federal budget by 2020. But somehow his math just doesn’t add up.

            In addition to the optional tax system, Perry proposes several minor personal tax revisions including abolishing taxes on Social Security (he just couldn’t stay away from it). The Perry plan also calls for lowering corporate income tax to 20%, down from the 28% it currently stands at. His defense is that this rate is well above the global average and that he wants to keep America competitive in hopes that companies will locate their industries here in the United States. This section of the plan also calls for large tax cuts on profits that corporations make overseas in hopes that these same corporations will reinvest in the American economy.

            In order to compensate for the lower corporation taxes, Perry advocates eliminating all tax loopholes that allow companies to get out of tax obligations: namely bailouts. His justification is that these loopholes put the burden on American tax payers and are too complex to fully understand. And while this section of his plan offers no specifics on how he will eliminate these loopholes, Perry’s plan says they will be “phased out over time.”

            It’s easy for Perry to say that he will eliminate these bailouts because it is incredibly doubtful that he’ll ever have to deal with that kind of situation. And as for the rest of his plan, the slash and burn tactic will do much more harm than good in attempting to balance the federal budget. But the worst part is the 20% flat rate, a thinly disguised tax break for the rich. As the rates stand, the wealthier Americans generally pay higher percentage in taxes than most others. But under a flat 20% tax rate, the rich, for the most part, are given a substantial tax break percentage wise. And those Americans who are the worst off financially will be asked to shoulder even more burden by having their taxes raised.

            Perry says he’s trying to balance the scales while having his finger pressed down firmly on one side the whole time. He’s trying disguise himself as a man committed to the people, when in actuality he’s just a hack who has no idea what he’s doing, but is still trying to fuck the middle class for the fun of it.

The End of Donovan McNabb

            Time betrays all athletes. But there is no position more susceptible to the wears and tears of time than quarterback. They spend their professional careers being targeted by 300 pound gorillas who drool at the chance of ending a quarterback’s season. A broken wrist or a severe concussion will do just fine, but the goal is always something more sinister. Ending a quarterback’s season or career is proof that heroes can be broken and that the NFL thrives as a league of villains.

            This season has shown many good quarterbacks being battered and hitting the ground hard. It seems like Jay Cutler spends more time on the ground than on his feet. And defensive linemen seem to be lusting to end Michael Vick’s season, if only to wash away the memory of his previous MVP caliber season. But there is no greater tragedy among quarterbacks this season than the case of Donovan McNabb.

            McNabb is on his third team in three seasons. He was a franchise god in Philadelphia, but he wrote his own obituary there when he pleaded that the ownership make a gamble and bring in the troubled Vick. And while he was never intended to be used as more than a third string ever again, Vick took the reins and has become the prophet that McNabb once was.

            McNabb was traded to Washington last season, and had his troubles. He was benched at key moments and seemed lost in the offense from time to time. The end of the 2010-2011 campaign also marked the end of his time as a Redskin. McNabb then was traded to Minnesota to take over where another tragic quarterback, Brett Favre, was defeated. Now, halfway through the season, McNabb finds himself in an uncomfortably familiar situation: being benched

            We may well have seen the last of Donovan McNabb as an NFL quarterback. The Vikings waited until after the trade deadline to reveal that McNabb was longer the starter, meaning they probably dangled his contract out to teams in need of a quarterback but found no takers. McNabb in his prime was a fine quarterback. Never an MVP, but he racked up some impressive stats and even lead his wayward Eagles to the Super Bowl, only to lose to the New England Patriots.

            Apparently Minnesota is where the careers of veteran quarterbacks looking for one last shot at glory go to die. McNabb has put up some unimpressive numbers this season, but he is not the only one to blame here. He didn’t deserve what he got, but it is proven that the NFL is no place for old men. 

The Godfather: How Herman Cain is Trying to Kill the Middle Class

            As of now, Herman “Deep Dish” Cain is being heralded as the frontrunner in the GOP’s race for the White House. His unlikely rise through a field of more qualified politicians, as well as his defeat over stage IV colon and liver cancer, makes him shine like gold in a room filled with rusted tin cans. In addition to this, Cain has a serious set of cajones in dealing with anyone who tries to bring him down with paltry facts. This is perfectly evidenced during the New Hampshire debate when Bloomberg TV questioner Julianna Goldman brought up a study that found that Cain’s “9-9-9” tax plan wouldn’t keep the country economically stable. Cain’s response?  "The problem with that analysis is that it is incorrect," he said.

            The problem with that diagnosis is that Cain is the one who’s incorrect. His economic plan would, in practice, effectively destroy the middle class and keep the Occupy Wall Street protests going until the end of time.

            The plan itself calls for 9 percent tax on wages, 9 percent tax on businesses and a 9 percent federal sales tax. It’s short, sweet and to the point (Jon Huntsman even ventured the guess that it was based off the price of a pizza). The problem with this plan is that it makes those already burdened with high taxes (the middles class) have to shoulder more, while effectively ending taxes on inheritance and capital gains (otherwise known as taxes on the rich). The flat-tax plan, as Cain calls it, is far from fair. It would “drastically increase taxes on the working poor and middle class, and reduce taxes going forward on the rich,” said USC tax law professor Edward Kleinbard in Tax Notes. Kleinbard goes on to say that 90 percent of taxpayers would find themselves with a “vastly increased tax bill” thanks to the 9-9-9 plan.

            Cain'sbusiness flat-tax actually works out to be an increased payroll tax on workers, and Kleinbard cites that the three 9s working together would be the equivalent of a 27 percent uncapped payroll tax. The only benefactors from Cain’s plan are the already wealthy, the less than one percent of Americans who control more than half of the investment income. With Cain in charge, almost a quarter of a million millionaires would find themselves no longer having to pay federal income tax. You heard me right. No income taxes on the super rich whatsoever.

            Then comes the inheritance tax, or lack thereof. Currently, estate can reach up to 35 percent on estates of $5 million or more. Under President Cain’s plan, this would be reduced to zero. This means that the super rich would pay absolutely nothing in income tax and then get to deliver a tax free inheritance to the beneficiaries. Not a bad deal for less than one percent of Americans.

            Under Cain’s plan there is also no method to raise more revenue. He seems perfectly content to sacrifice 99 percent of the American workforce; just so a few billionaires can keep every penny of their estates and inheritances. It’d be a shame to see those trust funds taxed unfairly, or at all.

            The scary part is that Herman Cain actually is the GOP frontrunner, at least for the time being. He may know how to run a chain of pizzerias, but this guy has no clue how to run a country. 

Sarah Palin, the Ultimate Political Cock Tease: How She and the Rest of the GOP Might Just Assure Obama a Second Term

            And so ends the inevitable truth that we all knew was coming. On Wednesday Sarah Palin officially announced that she was not running for president in 2012. This comes as no great surprise to anyone who had been watching the race; Palin hadn’t done a single thing toward making a run outside of collecting donations and forming an exploratory committee.

            After what she called “much prayer and serious consideration,” Palin said that her “family comes first.” Many thought she would come around and make the run, but Palin must have known all along she wasn’t going to try. She would have had to give up her cozy multi-million dollar deal with Fox News in order to campaign and come back into a public forum and debate an armada of challengers (instead of just Biden).

            Her announcement came almost immediately after New Jersey Governor Chris Christie announced that he would not be running for president either. The loss of these two would-be challengers – while not ultimately surprising – continues to leave the GOP field weak for contention. As of now, the GOP’s sideline looks a lot stronger than its starting lineup. Pawlenty, Barbour, Huckabee, Daniels and the other other Bush are among those not running. This list also includes every sitting Republican Senator and the self congratulating young architects of the House Republicans. Even Florida Senator Rick Rubio says he wants nothing to do with a GOP ticket.

            Obama is hurting right now, and if the GOP put in even half an effort they’d stand a good chance to unseat him. They’d even have numbers in the House and be close to having a majority in the Senate again. However, Republicans have fielded their thinnest group in years to try to ascend the White House. We are left wondering why no one in the GOP seems to care about this election. Maybe they’d just rather let Obama win so that he can keep shouldering the blame for the problems that they all helped create. Or maybe we’ve reached the point where even politicians really don’t care about who becomes president. 

Can LeBron be King Again?

            Never before has an entire nation rallied around the miserable defeat of a team like we all did watching the Miami Heat fall to the Dallas Mavericks in the 2011 NBA Finals. We cheered and jumped for joy at the sight of LeBron James and company walking off the court in utter disgrace: another moment of coming up short for the King.

            It’s unlikely that the hatred surrounding James will have dissipated in just a year. And we are all still quick to point out his shortcomings: he has no fourth quarter; he never comes up clutch, etc. And it’s undeniable that he stood no chance of winning the league MVP this past year (he was the bad mouthing pariah who ditched his home team for warmer weather and super friends going against a young and humble hometown hero in Derrick Rose). But now, one year removed from everything, can LeBron James carry the Miami Heat to where they need to be?

            He can only if he does carry them, like he carried the Cavaliers for seven years. He’s no longer on a team of nobodies, and if free agency ever begins the Heat can only improve. They’re still weak at the point and center positions, but James has consistently made up for that. He has the sheer power of any center in the league and the passing skills of any point guard (he often runs the point, as a matter of fact). He’s a rock on defense (have you seen the chase down block from behind?) and a stone cold killer on offense. Except for his less than average performance in the Finals, James put up astounding numbers in the playoffs, knocking out the Sixers, Celtics and Bulls. It wasn’t that he lacks the ability. Most likely, the hatred and loathing finally caught up with him. It’s his misfortune that it caught up then.

            This season, James should be able to get past all that. Up until last year, he was adored worldwide. He was idolized by a legion of fans who all wanted to “Believe.” He was 250 pounds of sheer God-given talent who could not be stopped. He wasn’t human. He was Jordan incarnate. Then he made the move to South Beach, and all that glory went out the window. He was no longer adored. He was no longer a hometown hero. He became an outcast, and thieving freak who deserved nothing more than to be beaten and ridiculed. And so he was.

            James has a sterling opportunity now to get past all that. The hatred will be slow to disappear, but James and Heat can now begin to really take off. It’s unlikely that they’ll stumble out of the gates again whenever this season kicks off. Assuming they make at least a few decent free agency signings, the Heat will still be heads and shoulders above everyone in the league. James can begin to ignore all those hateful wishes of failure he hears day in and day out. Because by now he’s heard them all, and they’ve already become reality. He can now begin to play basketball the way he was born to play and without distraction.  

            James has been beaten twice in the playoffs now. He’s constantly put himself in the shadow of Michael Jordan, and that may have lead to his failures. But now that all his enemies have wished him beaten and seen it happen, James can begin to move past it. He doesn’t have to care what any fan (or anti-fan) thinks of him anymore, because they’ve got what they wanted. And the player who doesn’t care, who is immune to the outside world, is 100% lethal in the NBA.

            I’ve tried my hardest to hate LeBron James. But try as I might, I cannot hate the player the way I hate the individual. He is simply too good to hate forever. I’ve never been able to take down the number 23 Cavs jersey that hangs in my bedroom because that is the LeBron James I remember; the inhuman being that defied all conventions. The Decision is over, and James can finally begin to get back to the way things used to be. He is honestly too good for American sports fans to despise him forever. Even Kobe could get past the rape allegations because he was the best at the time and figured out that people love a winner. And that’s LeBron right now. He may be a bad person, but he’s too goddamn good at basketball to be hated forever. And as much as it pains me to say it, he’s still the best player on the best team. Someday, maybe in 2012, the Heat will win the Finals. And if LeBron plays the way he’s meant to, he’ll win league and Finals MVP. But first he has to stop worrying.