The Heavy Burden of LeBron James

            Tonight is the most important night of LeBron James’s life. Up until now he was a magnificent loser, a tragedy of God-given talent meant to wow us but never win us back. Tonight LeBron can become more than a loser, more than a tragedy and even if he can’t win all of us back, he can certainly win most of us.

            People love a winner. Ask Kobe. Ask Kevin Garnett. Ask Ben Roethlisberger. It doesn’t matter what you did or how big of an asshole you really are; people will love you if you win. And tonight, LeBron is as close to that elusive ring as he’s ever been. With one win tonight, he can begin to repair his broken image, and stand just a little taller in the shadow cast by Michael Jordan.

            Tonight LeBron can silence everyone who has been begging him to lose for two years. All it will take is 48 minutes of unrelenting and uncompassionate basketball. He will have to play like he’s never played before. He will have to play more than a perfect game; he will have to be an Olympian waging holy war on Oklahoma City. Tonight he will have to be more than just LeBron James to win. He will have to be Aries, god of war. He will have to make fools out of Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook and James Harden. If LeBron truly wants to be remembered as one of the greats, he will have to destroy his opponents in a way never before seen in basketball. For tonight, LeBron has to be the greatest to ever play the game. Anything short of that simply will not do.

            Tonight, LeBron has to play as if he’ll never see the hardwood again, as if he will fade into oblivion once the clock runs out. His legacy will be in his own hands then. If he wants to become more than just a man, he’ll have to play like that. Forget the Super Friends, LeBron. Tonight it is only you on that court. With a decisive victory you stand the most gain. But you also stand the most to lose. It won’t mean the same if you win in Game 6 or Game 7. You have the entire NBA in a stranglehold tonight, LeBron, and you have two choices. Either let them go to fight another day and be seen as weak, or finish them off once and for all, like the titan you so desperately wanted to be.

            Tonight’s the night, LeBron. Go out there and play the game like it’s never been played, or be cast as a failure forever, as someone who couldn’t get it done when the moment was biggest.

            This is the moment you gave up everything for. This is what you were born to do. So go and get it, or else why bother at all? Some players get remembered, LeBron, but legends never die.

John Edwards Goes Free

            Sometimes even scumbags catch a break. Today, federal prosecutors dropped their case against former presidential hopeful John Edwards after the corruption trial against him ended in deadlock. Edwards was acquitted by North Carolina jurors on one count of accepting illegal campaign contributions. The five other felony charges against him ended in deadlock, causing the judge to call for a mistrial. He will not be retried on the five unresolved counts.

            Edwards allegedly used his campaign contributions to finance and cover up an affair he had. It was reported that up to $1 million in secret payments from wealthy donors was being used to hide his pregnant mistress while he ran for president in 2008.

            Edwards is a two-timing hack who cheated on his late cancer-stricken wife and didn’t even feel bad about it. I’m sure at some point Newt Gingrich called Edwards with high praise and well wishes, telling him to hang tough and that this will all blow over soon. People are quick to forget and even quicker to vindicate any degenerate on the grounds that they’ve changed.

            But people like Edwards never change. They smile and pose for pictures with their families by day, but by night they’re always on the prowl. And guys like Edwards have an unwarranted sense of entitlement. Not just when it comes to women, but with anything they know they shouldn’t be doing. They’re greedy and they think they won’t get caught. And worst of all, even if they’re caught red handed hiding a pregnant mistress with campaign contributions while their wife is dying in a hospital bed, they know eventually we’ll forget all about it.

            That’s just how these people work. Understanding a politician’s motives is like understanding the old riddle: Why does a dog lick itself?

            Because he can.