The Good, The Bad, and Rick Perry: The End of the Lone Ranger

            Not all cowboys get to ride off into the sunset. Some go down in blaze of glory, shot down with both guns drawn. Others just get old and die, drenched in whiskey and telling stories about the old days that no one else remembers or cares to hear again. And this is the fate of the last cowboy in the 2012 race for the White House. Texas Governor Rick Perry, the Tea Party creation and the one time Republican flavor of the week, has dropped out of the race. There was no glory, as he didn’t capture the nomination like he thought he could. And there was no grand shootout; Perry just gave up. Rather than stick to his guns and go down firing, Perry hung up his six shooters and spurs and retired to the ranch. Not the ending that any cowboy dreams of.

            Perry’s undoing was all of his own creation. He scared away supporters and donors while spending millions on a lost cause. No one would even come to listen to the once proud former front runner speak in South Carolina earlier today. His stances on taxes (or lack thereof for the wealthy) and social security did him no favors in the eyes of voters everywhere. He seemed unprepared in every step of the race, and was beaten mercilessly by the other candidates. Perry went from good to bad to ugly in a very short period of time.

            The Lone Ranger is expected to endorse Gingrich later today. He has already dismantled his anti-Gingrich website. The same people who demanded early on that he enter the presidential race were clamoring for him to drop out the past few days. As it turns out, Perry was never the gunslinger he thought he was, but rather just another gun for hire in a town full of whores, drunkards and bandits. He was forgettable. He was replaceable. And most of all, he was a failure. He set out to destroy Mitt Romney, and the best he could do was bow out and endorse Gingrich.

            So adios, Rick Perry. He goes on now to join the likes of Herman Cain, Tim Pawlenty, Michele Bachmann and Jon Huntsman. Freaks and losers of the GOP nomination race. People who never stood a chance but were dumb enough to try anyway. This is what happens to cowboys who set Mitt Romney in their crosshairs and miss. They get no redemption, no glory whatsoever. They just get run out of town like disease ridden dogs, beaten raw and forced to live on the fringes, covered in dirt and their own blood.