Spring Cleaning Up in Augusta

Gov. Paul LePage, the gorged laughingstock up in Augusta, has recently taken a bizarre step in his political career. Instead of concentrating on jobs or the state budget, LePage has begun to channel his inner Martha Stewart by delving into interior decorating. He has moved for the immediate removal of a mural in the Department of Labor building. To him, that mural simply threw off the feng shui and had to go.

            A spokeswoman for LePage said that the governor ordered the mural be removed after various business officials voiced criticisms of the mural. The spokeswoman also added that LePage received an anonymous fax saying the mural was like “communist North Korea where they use these murals to brainwash the masses.” That same spokeswoman also mentioned that LePage wants a “décor that represents neutrality.”

            The mural was created in 2007 by Judy Taylor, the winner of a Maine Art Commission competition. It has 11 panels depicting scenes of Maine workers, ranging from lumberjacks, mill strikes, shoemakers and shipyards. LePage claims that the scenes depicted are “one-sided” in favoring unions.

            This is only one of LePage’s spring-cleaning binges. He also wants to rename seven conference rooms in the Department of Labor building. One is named after farm workers’ rights champion César Chávez, another after Rose Schniederman, once leader of the New York Women’s Trade Union League, and another after Frances Perkins, the nation’s first female labor secretary.

            Among the most recent of LePage’s accomplishments are raising the Maine state retirement age for public employees, making Medicaid more expensive and inaccessible to low income families and cutting food stamp benefits.

            LePage has been very successful in his spring cleaning, washing away those pesky benefits and rights that accumulate on the porch over a long winter, and getting rid of that cumbersome mural that was taking up space in the basement where he could easily fit a treadmill or a speed bike. So good for him. Swimsuit season is coming, and he has a few pounds to shed in these dwindling dreary days before he can put on that Speedo and head down to Old Orchard Beach for a much needed vacation.